


luctu capillum

by Genderbenderaf



Series: luctu capillum series [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Crying, Hair, Help, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Panic Attacks, Phil Adopted Wilbur Tubbo and Tommy, Phil and Techno are best friends, Tattoos, Techno adopted Ranboo but it's not that clear, Techno is Wilbur Tommy and Tubbo's godfather and no one can tell me otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:20:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genderbenderaf/pseuds/Genderbenderaf
Summary: Phil was taught from a young age that hair should only be cut during times of distress, mourning, or grief. When he adopts Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo, he and his best friend, Technoblade, pass along these traditions. This is the story of their hair and what drove them to cutting it.OrThe times SBI + Tubbo and Ranboo were stressed enough to cut their hair.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: luctu capillum series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170458
Comments: 4
Kudos: 155





	1. luctu capillum

**Author's Note:**

> haha made myself cry so now I present this to you so you will cry with me ha  
> Enjoy :)  
> also I think the title means "hair of mourning" in latin, correct me if I'm wrong  
> CW for sobbing, feelings of abandonment, mention of panic attacks (nothing too graphic tho)  
> also wilbur dies you have been warned

From the time Tubbo was adopted by Phil, he was taught never to cut his hair. The family believed that it was only to be cut in times of grief, pain, or distress. So, he grows the short, scraggly hair he had when he lived in the box into longer, silky hair that he braids into crowns around his head or long, tied-up plaits. He decorates his braids with little flowers of greens and yellows that attract peaceful bees. He takes pride in the way his hair connects him to his family of five; his father, two brothers, and godfather. 

Throughout many times of peril, during the wars and fights, even when he loses one of his three lives, he does not cut his hair. No matter what, he has his family, and so there was no reason to grieve or mourn. But when the election comes around, and Schlatt takes his reign, things change. Suddenly, he is lost in a world where his father and godfather are far away in the arctic and his two brothers have been banished. For the first time since his days in the box, Tubbo is alone. That night, he cuts his hair. He reports to his first day as a member of Schlatt’s cabinet with his hair choppy and short, the flowers long gone and the bees that normally flutter around his head missing. Fundy gasps and Quackity momentarily blanks. No one outside the family of five knew the significance of their hair, but it was common knowledge that there was a reason as to why they kept their hair long. Schlatt comments on Tubbo’s new hair, asking as to why the new change. 

Tubbo lies and claims it was to look more alike to the new president, but his stomach turns and twists at the thought of being similar to the man who took away his family.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Wilbur was young when Phil took him in. He had looked up to the man with the bucket cap, large wings, and tied-up hair and decided this was going to be his father. Phil was more than happy to oblige. So, Phil took the child in and taught him all he knew. Then, when he could teach him no more, his best friend, Technoblade, taught Wilbur all about fighting, protection, and loyalties. The two taught the boy anything and everything; from fishing to fighting to cooking. They taught him to care for his hair and to never cut it except in times of distress. He took the lesson to heart, keeping his hair long and healthy. He would let it flow free down his shoulders, believing the ties and styles his family wore to be too restrictive. Above all else, Wilbur wanted to be free, and his long, brown, curls were no exception to that. 

He put so much of himself into building his country that losing it meant losing himself, too. Wilbur could feel himself slipping away and he could do nothing as he sat and watched his sanity slip through his fingers the same way L’Manberg did. The little bit of himself he still had screamed at him to protect his family, cut all ties with them before he did something that would break their hearts. He tried to push them away, treat his brothers as just comrades and his godfather as just an ally. They didn’t listen. So, in a final act of desperation to save them, he cut off the hair he was so proud of. In doing so, he severed all ties to himself as well as to the freedom he had previously had. Now, he was a slave to his own demons. When he strutted into a planning meeting with his newly short curls hidden beneath a beanie, Technoblade and Tommy were concerned, of course they were, but they simply assumed it was for the loss of the nation he had worked so hard for. 

Later, he dies with his hair choppy and short, forever engraved that way unto his ghost, the sloppy curls hidden away under the red beanie.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Phil had been taught by his father that hair was sacred and only to be cut as a symbol of grief or mourning. When his father died, he watched as his mother cut her hair first then his. Then, when his mother died not long after, he cut his hair himself; in front of the mirror, breathing heavy and reflection blurred by tears he refused to shed. It took him years after that to grow back his long, blond locks. He kept it tied back with a small green ribbon at his nape, the short length and uneven strands showing the amount of grief he had experienced at a young age. When he met Technoblade, he knew they would be best friends for life, despite how much the other pretended to grumble against it. He taught Technoblade the symbolic meaning behind his hair and the traditions his family followed. The two fought and laughed together, leaning on each other in the good and the bad. And, when he found children of his own to pass his traditions along to, he was quick to make his best friend the godfather, trusting him to take care of them just as he would. Over the years, Phil’s hair grew longer and longer, until his short tufts were but a distant memory, and the pain of his past was swallowed by the joy his family brought him.

When Technoblade had contacted Phil, concerned about Wilbur cutting his hair, Phil was quick to get to his son. He flew miles upon miles, never resting, hoping to make it there in time to stop Wilbur from doing something they would all regret. When he injured his wing as he got to the edges of the country, he brushed it off and continued on foot to get to his family. With a quick glance towards the general area, he ignored the chaos and pushed towards where he thought Wilbur to be, trusting Technoblade with the safety of his two younger sons. He arrived at a stone room to see someone he barely recognized as his oldest son. Phil tried and tried to talk him out of it, but, ultimately, he was only able to stand and watch as his son- his Wilbur- blew up the country his children had worked so hard to build. And he could only watch as a man he no longer knew got on his knees and begged Phil to kill him. For a fleeting moment, as the sword went through Wilbur’s chest, Phil could see the son he once had, the fear and innocence in his eyes as he died reminding the older man of when he had first adopted the boy. Afterwards, he reunites with his remaining sons, hugging them so tight it hurts, and his oldest friend, barely holding back tears as he holds him. That night, Phil makes his way to Tubbo’s small home, and, reflection once again blurred with tears, he cuts off his hair, tying the green ribbon around his wrist. The next morning, Tommy and Tubbo give him twin understanding looks, and the three huddle together, holding each other tight.

Phil mourns for his son, not the one he killed that day, but the one that died months earlier, when sanity hurt too much to hold on to.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Tommy had been left by his parents when he was just a baby. Phil had found him, swaddled in red wool, and taken the poor boy in. He had raised Tommy alongside Wilbur and later, Tubbo. Tommy had the same values instilled in him as his brothers, and he took to fighting and hunting almost as well as Technoblade. Tommy grew his hair alongside the others, his blond locks always pulled back in a semblance of his father’s knot or his godfather’s ponytail. Often, there would be a small flower or two stuck haphazardly in his hair, courtesy of Tubbo. He knew, no matter what happened, his family would never abandon him like his biological parents had, whoever they may be. He had family, and that was all he could ask for. And, so long as Tommy had them, he would never feel distressed enough to cut his hair.

Tommy couldn’t pinpoint when it all went bad. He could say it was when Schlatt became president and exiled him, or perhaps when his older brother foreshadowed his ultimate demise by cutting his hair. It could even be said it was when he watched his father kill Wilbur with everyone watching. No, he didn’t know exactly when the bad all began. He could, however, say the exact moment it pushed him over the edge. It was when his own brother listened to a madman over himself, and Tommy was exiled once again from his country. He was escorted away by Dream, and he felt the tears well up in his eyes. It was that night, in a small, makeshift tent, that he screamed and cried and sobbed as he chopped his hair off with a sharpened stone he found. The locks fell to the ground as he mourned. He mourned for his godfather’s betrayal, and for his brother’s death, and for his brother turning against him. 

Tommy sat and he mourned in a puddle of his own tears and hair and sorrow, feeling abandoned by the only people he thought would be there forever.  
____________________________________________________________________________

Technoblade does not cut his hair. He hasn’t since he was a young teen before he had met Phil and bound himself in friendship to the man. No, he prefers not to worry his friends or his young one about his distress. Rather, he paints himself with tattoos of glittering golds and bold reds. They litter his arms, legs, and torso. They tell the stories of his failures and his mistakes. He wishes for little in the world, but one thing Technoblade does wish for is that he will never forget his pitfalls if only to prevent others from making the mistakes he did. So no, he will never cut his hair. He will leave it swirling in pink waves down his back until the day he dies. He will, however, grieve alongside his family. And he will do whatever it takes to protect them from the need to cut their hair.


	2. BONUS: Ranboo's luctu capillum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter of ranboo cutting his hair because I believe he is part of the family, too, but he didn't join the server until after the other stuff went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight spoiler for the prison w/ Ranboo i guess

Once the final destruction of L'Manberg is over, Ranboo is nearly immediately pseudo-adopted into this odd little family of Phil and Technoblade’s. He starts growing out his hair the moment he knows about the tradition. Through all of his panics and crazes, he never once cuts his hair. It is only when he sees Dream inside the prison that he freaks out enough to cut his hair. Phil returns home to find Ranboo, with choppy, fresh-cut hair, sitting on his front steps, face streaked with tears. Phil does not ask questions but rather just guides him into the house, hands him some hot cocoa, and offers to clean up the cutting job on his hair. Ranboo agrees and as he sits there, sinking into Phil’s touch as he cards his hands through dual-colored hair and snips, Ranboo feels the panic edging away and the sense of safety settling in.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know in the comments any requests for fics you may have. I might write them if I like the idea. 
> 
> To anyone who wants, here is my discord. Please, I need more friends.
> 
> warningthewarden #9338


End file.
